Both sides now

It was not like I was born yesterday that I don’t know nothing at all. So even it maybe didn’t related to you and I hope it didn’t, well… just have some of new insights. 

Maybe not a long time ago, but it feels like a long time too. So I just maybe say one and a half year ago, my life was the piled up for days to survive, days to be forgotten about, days that I should be worried because no progress wasn’t made after all, days of what the fuck I don’t care anymore, days when your friends reaches you—knowing that you are not okay at all even you’ve always said you’re okay, or days when you surely got up to cleaning your room—hoping it’ll get better and all those would passed and it did!

Yup, I know it sucks. And all of your brain cells are screaming at you: “WHY DID I HAVE GO THROUGH ALL THAT SHIT FIRST?”

Well, in this part you might be felt relate because… yeah, that’s life and I know I just said that million times.

But now, it’s not like everything’s fine and okay, it gets better but you deal with a whole new level of shits coming up.

“Time becomes more valuable so you start setting a schedule and sticking to it. No more flaking. You make time for work, your friends, and most importantly your family. You can also set aside time, to do nothing. Ultimately, you start to see how important it is to plan things out.”

Can’t agree enough for those words right now.

You’ll be more cherished weekend more than ever. Because you only had free time in those two days and had to make the best of it. But, what if your only two days used for something that suddenly come up and you should do it right away? Well, be adult. And from now on, I just let and wishing everyone have a great weekend even it is mostly not the way they dreams or planned in the first place.

--------

I did write that a month ago. So much changed. I am not the same person who’d written that on September 18th 2021.

I need extra time to discovering what happened on those changes and figuring out some things that still the same. How everything actually end and start immediately after the finish line or how some things didn’t follow up to the next steps. 

There is no point to pretending you did a good job even you aren’t—also, no need to hard on yourself even if you didn’t like what person you’ve become because of your choices. Because we are always in between. Happiness did not stay for long and sadness is the emotions that will go along the way on night like this.

A few days ago, it’s no strange that I had this conversation with friends that meant to be just a pep talk turned out to be a deep talk. She said as a closing, “Like always, thanks for always listening to me.” It is really basic manner if you feel grateful when someone listened to you and I am glad she is that kind of person. 

I answered, “It’s okay. It’s not like those emotions were unfamiliar anyway. But listening to this, I can’t help to think and ends up feeling that kind of your described emotions. I am sure this is empathy, I am glad I did validate yours, not judging it.”

I’m adding. “I am not proud with myself of the cause and the reason why you or anyone else asked to be listened by me. Even it’s neither good or bad for myself. It’s just takes energy. For now it’s okay, and if it’s turns out I am not okay, I also could ask you to listened me, right? That’s just simple like that.”

Lastly. I know it’s me thing, but if it didn’t hurt so bad, I will not asked for a companion. As always, I just defining on a scale, where were the emotions level if it’s adds up. I know I have people who in stand by mode just after one call away. But as in my value on being burden to someone else is not cool—Up until now, I treating their companion as an emergency fund—or maybe a gift voucher that has expired date?

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When you feel unwell and overwhelmed by it, you write.

 

To commemorate this particular day, let's summarize with some details and description of what already happened and happening right now.

You feel unwell, but you did go to your office anyway, done your work after long conversations, incredible amount of coordinations with people and emails. And it's done.

You got this message from your old friend after all years stop talking not in the bad way, just in reasonable cause. You kept it anyway because you aren't at home yet and have so much to do before having your free time.

Meanwhile, your bestfriend also leave a message. A casual message of wanting something. You just read it anyway because yeah, you still in the middle of something.

You pick up some food for you and your family and a little drink for your bestfriend because you actually want to see her smile after unintentionally ignoring her message. You go to her house to see her smile, then you go home, you give food that you brought to your family and you see your family's smiles.

Cleaning yourself right away, can't wait for your free time. You replied your old friend's messages. Have a chit chat and promise each other to see as soon as possible. Ok.

You eat, and oh yeah, you still feel unwell. You have runny nose and you have cold. Your mind goes to that certain virus while the others mind is focus on keep eating so it will make everything better.

Next, you're playing social media, tweeting and scrolling. And you still feel unwell.

"You need someone when you're sick." You said that in your mind. And voila, your safe space is coming. She is your sister and you both started to talk about everything.

After declaring, "You need people in your life." Suddenly you felt gratefulness.

You send a grateful words to your bestfriend just to feel... yeah grateful. You're also missing that one certain person and denying right away anyway. Thinking it was useless and not in a place to start again and actually try to stopping all of it.

You still denying about that one certain person. You got up for a distraction and changed your usual sheets to your favourite sheets on midnight. One of activity you do to make yourself comfortable. Then you are cleaning your room. Checking front door lock. And here you are now. Forty minutes after tidying your bed, cleaning your room and locking your house's front door.

What a day! Just for reminder that today is worth written and you will grateful one day when read this again in the future.

Nighty night while you still feeling unwell.

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Short title: I've talked too much

Long title: This writings was written because I have a good conversation today. On 76th Indonesia Independence Day.

Begin: 00.11 AM/ 18th August 2021

How come a girl with a mole on her lips should labelled as someone who talk to much leads to being annoying etc. Older people say so and they tends to be the one who believe in superstitions.

I was raised with that kind of mindset that I was talking too much. Even my parents agreed with the idea of me, as the youngest child, should be the one who's funny and happy all the time. Oh shit, is that why my name has a rhyme same as "funny"? Nope. I genuinely remember, dad's got name "Giovanny" from christian baby name book they got from hospital. TMI, I was born at St. Carolus Jakarta.

Anyway, carrying youngest child label whom always kind of hated by others older sibling because they thought we are annoyingly spoiled human being that always win (and we did!). I've always thought my parents love me the most and yeah that's so wrong in many way but at least I let them and felt much love from them in a real way. Thanks you two for unimaginable love!

So. Yeah. Talking too much.

I don't know who I am, really. How I felt about conversations with people? It's up and down. Could be amazing, alright, until meh...

If I looking back to my social skills on really basic grade until high school. I would say, I've never be an outsider. I've always belong to this kind of group filled with people who encouraging a friendship like a team. You know, because every team needs a funny smart fat friend so yeah, I've always belong somewhere.

But there's also the time when I got tired being so in arranged environment or maybe I want to be looked like a good person so I've always find it easy to approach a person who's more into observing and listening rather than full of energy and wanted to be heard. I've always connected with the most alone person in class and the funny thing is, I could actually enjoyed talking with them. Oh my god, the memory just pouring out, I could named them right now. But nah...

They are the real people who have a real story in their past or coming life ahead.

There's a girl who always bring a tablet to school and as any high schooler could be, I am continously borrowed it to play games, which, the game is Minnion Rush, that I still immensely played until this time. Also, that leads me to having no phone at my first year on my college, instead I get a tablet instead just to keep playing that game. Wow, goosebumps on my skin even I am writing this now. 

Another thing I remember about her is, she is the master of cheating BUT she is also one of the brightest brain in class. She told me that even she is already know the answer, she would go through this math problem to just assuring her ego that she actually did it with her own ability. At the end of high school, she did all exam tests by her own and I'm glad she did. Because as I mentioned before she is truly a smart girl. I learned a lot from her.

There's also this boy in my junior high school, we were in same class and I used to be one of class administrator back then so yeah I know every kid financial state in those time. He always said "later" everytime I asked about weekly contribution money and I just casually moved to ask another kid without push him a little more to give the money right away.

So, I'm observing him, and asked where he lives because there's so many times we would pass by on the road when we're going home from school. He was walking while me driven by my sister. One day, I asked "Why we keep run to each other? Where do you live?" Lol, I asked like the road was mine. And he tell me long story about his dad's motocycle repair shop and his young brothers. And from those day, everytime we run to each other in the road. I would brightly shouting his name while waving my hand. My sister in other side saying why would I do that thing and called me "genit". Wtf, sist, that's my friend that I gladly saying goodbye with. Well, Majid, whenever you're at right now. I would gladly saying hello again...

I also know this truly talented person who writes. She is the master of writing fanfiction. Genre: thriller. She wearing this big glasses, I'm being serious and I am not kidding. I don't see why my generation seeing someone who is passionate about something is a weird person. My generation likes similarity as a cool things. This girl is eccentric, not weird. She loves history. She's a walked wikipedia. I learned all conspiracy theory from her. The last thing I heared about her is that she's in literature major. Perhaps she already publishes a book? Yeah I hope.

Glad that I've known and had long or short conversation with them. They aren't unfounded, they just have this deepness people don't wanna know.

In college, when your social skills is the most used for heading to this world, I am shutting all of that with no reason. I'm exhausted all the time and making friends is just a necessary agenda thing. Seriously, I'm talking to people just want one thing: information. They're just a bunch of either people trying to stand out or people who too scared to say anything because the others also didn't say anything and always in save zones while I am the one didn't give a f and just want to sleep in my dorm.

But among those people that I explained selfishly general, I met people who just right matched with myself. Surely six years communicate with bunch of people who wasn't too smart, having a boring life story, wasn't eccentric and definitely not one of them are outsider. They are good at social skills and talking even the most introvert one.

Some of them are my favourite conversationalist. Four hours literally talking on the phone with me is... idk, what are we even talking about? Or long haul long and deep conversation on messanger. You guys are the best. Thanks for that.

And lastly to my family. Nani, who this afternoon asked and telling me all gossip about Megawati and Prabowo while I searched their parents' names, or spouse and siblings on google just to completed her sentence. 

Also My sister whom tonight explaining how great South Korea's health systems is and bring up and mocking my worse and embarrasing moment when I was children with all our recall memories of our parents.

I am grateful. I am.

Now looking back, I am still that girl with a mole on her lips no matter how the idea of that truth is followed with how much I talked or simply I didn't said because I am keeping the silence. Because I've looked at life from both sides now.

Good night. Or morning? Shit.

End: 02.27 AM/ 18th August 2021
No edit. Just published. Good Lord, Giovannyyyy.....

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Karaoke list.

Just watched a good movie. CODA. Got a nice song along the way. Well its movie which song was a big deal on it... -so.

Surely write too much these past day or at least today. So much in my brain that needed to get out. Started from tweet and now... another blog.

Now is 00.53 AM. It's already monday and I got to go work in 7 hours even if it's "Harpitnas" I just know tomorrow's work wouldn't get any easy so I just let my heart out in this comforting feelings caused by writings and letting out my mind to make a record that I hve been in this funny situation.

I am listening dodie's album now. Ok. TMI.

And so yeah, I'll talk about karaoke list.

This was in my mind this morning. I was chillin' like my usual weekends looking over too much on my phone and in the mood of re-watching Frozen 2. Yeah lame. But this rarely happened that I liked the sequel of the movie instead the first one.

Fast forward to Idina Menzel singing Show Yourself. And yes! I love the song. Without any clue. I searched for the instrumental and ready to cue for singing it.

You know, it happened basically all the time of our lives that you just singing from youtube instrumental and think that as a karaoke. Or maybe not. Or yes if you're in the never-cease-pandemic.

Making a list of songs that I want to singing if I was in karaoke was always in my mind but I really never actually making it. 

Or this one time when you singing for yourself and you approved that the songs was perfect with your voice and get an urge to making a list of "Song that makes my voice sounds really good". I really mean it when I thought that out.

My judgement of my own voice is always on both sides. There was a good day and a bad day. But I loved singing and humming and whistling so nothings really good or really bad. 

When I talk that I am actually never make a karaoke list, it's true, because when I started to organizing songs in my head, I should dividing them in three language. English, Korean, and Bahasa Indonesia

I sing all those kind of songs and get confused whether I like more. I think it's slightly a same amount. Dunno. 

Turns out, I'm still haven't writing that list. So, this karaoke list still a mystery until I figure out or government could help to arrange karaoke industry to coming back in a meantime. But DUH! I know its useless giving expectations on those people. So, just get enough and satisfied with youtube instrumental, my friend.

Oh yeah, I have plan to buy home karaoke microphone. Just see when it could be implemented. Bye and may you have a good sleep. Oh, no worries, I'm talking to myself.

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I hope no one reading this.

Image source: @peopleiveloved instagram feed

Just a while ago, well minute ago, I was going though my second heartbreak and made my mind up to done with it. I don't know how to give marked to showed that I'm done with all this but enough is definitely enough.

Should've done this a long time ago. But hey, glad that I realized that this must stop or I would be a fool if keep this continue. 

It's such a shame that I should mad about something first to actually end this, I'm about to rant and saying something ugly slash refreshing in social media but now come think of it, I would've feel guilty and ashamed, then delete it at the end. So, let this head kept swearing without leaving a trace in this digital world.

Keeping a promise and get on with it wasn't easy. That's way this writings has to exist. In case I not too hard to myself in terms of doing this.

I don't know what to say anymore. I'll take the chance.

"So this is me unclasping my fingers. 

This is my parting, my reluctance, my heartache and my final gift to you.

This is me letting you go." - Heidi Priebe

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out

Maybe my occupation in past life is a nurse-- which just nonsense because there's no such thing in my holy book. So... yeah. Why I said that? Because... I'm the expert on taking care of person. Especially unwell people. I just know... and good at it.

Do not get me started with anything. I am an adult who wished not to be one. 

I don't know how to behaving like 24 year old woman in this country. We all live in standard. I want out. But it seems like everyone holding on me. Or it just me who couldn't let go.

Last night I was imagining what would my mom said to me in this specifically time, is she would say "So sorry you should go through this again when thinking all is starting to settled but the fact it isn't. Sorry I couldn't be there and you have to take that responsbility when I know it's too much."

And the most important things is what will my mom really said to me if she's still alive? Is she asked for my help like others or just let me go and live my life.

I am tremendously tired. Like being an orphan not already hard, I have to going through all of it once again. 

What is life exactly? 

Is it looking all beautiful places, taken by someone by picture and video they're sharing and be done and enough to just look in this fucking small screen?

Is it feeling miserable when people you living with also miserable, taking care of them and god knows until when. 

Is it being kind, take all responsbility because you just don't want to take courage labelled as selfish person with people you knew.

What's the meaning off all this?

I'll die eventually in no time.

No, I won't do anything to die. I want to keep alive. But this is not the life I want, it is choosen for me but it's hard and I don't care anymore. There, I said it.

And shoot, I have so much to do at work tomorrow. Money is a sure thing.

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I Am Writing This So I Could Get Back To Sleep.

I was playing would you rather in my head to holding back the doubtness of what I did through in this life these past couple months.

Should've done it like I'm usually do, get things done, taking my time, and move on. Maybe a little bit grumbling a long the way. But nowadays, the feeling of restless starting to taking over.

Uncertain possibilities piles up and I can't simply just get rid of that. I've always denying by thought "Well, everyone feels the same way." 

Well, everyone is, but its not your business. You can't always put people in front of you and facing your feelings as leftovers.

I was in talk with my friends. They said, "It's much better you still kept out from all the unnecessary investment in relationships. The effort is just... bigger than you can think of."

The truth is, I don't even want to thinking a lot of it. They said, it is much better away from all that stuff-- but I think I could cover it up if anything happens. Things like that have to be both important and negligible at the same time.

I'm used being alone. Even when my mom and dad and sisters still around I have this likeness of being alone. Also this past years, I somehow grateful for all the time I spent it all alone. But I think its time that this loneliness gone, I had enough. I needed a company. But again, who are we? Getting things that we want.

"The fear of loss is stronger when one truly has something to lose, so when you jump in full hurts that much more" - I seriously quoting this from short story of Conneto UK advertisement.

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Self-reward.

 

You are hoping when the next time you see my writings again, it would be post pandemic? Well hell no baby, its worsen! In Indonesia of course.

People...... dying. We are. If we are surviving this pandemic until it's over... until it's really in the very much edge when we could call it Covid-19 free, I promised I shouldn't take things for granted.

I will work my ass off to do whatever I want to do. I'll go overseas, spending money I've earned and seeing people as much they want to see new people like me! I'll left behind these familiar place and people without planning to ever comeback. I'll missed it though, but just let me go. 

Anyway, I got something to talk about.

I find a "self-reward" culture was used for us-- the usual type or ordinary person with minimun wage-- to reassuring their consumptive behaviour or as you called now as eaten by capitalism.

That kind of standard-- the consumptive one I mean-- were used on bought things like literally things or food. 

And here's I want to talk about: 

Ever since I'm making money, the necessity of things was increased because I have a whole different agenda everyday. The basic need of food or any utilities must be fulfilled as long as in proper quantity. So it can't be called as self-reward.

Is self-reward only achievable by some or a lot of money? 

How was your needs determined where it belongs?

Are they a basic needs, self-reward or consumptive behaviour?

Like always... I have too much questions.

First answer: Oh no, darling. Self-reward doesn't have to be earned by money. It is earned by you and for you.

Let me give you an example of self-reward that is earned by you and for you. If you are watching Hospital Playlist, Song Hwa asked Ik-Jun what thing he do to himself-- not for others as always he did in the first place. Song Hwa then showing this photo of camping's tools that she's bought recently for her and proudly said that she is happy when she bought it. When Song Hwa asked again what Ikjun did to make himself happy, Ikjun answering having dinner or lunch with Song Hwa, that's the thing that he do it for himself to make he's happy. And... that's it... That's it!

You are simply didn't need money for self-reward. Just used your money for basic needs and voila... 

Self reward is doing something with people and acknowledge that you doing it for you not for people you want to do something with. It is both selfish and selfless. Hahah, mindblowing, isn't it?

I just found out lately. 

I am rewarding myself with serenity from others. How their day went or something I could help to make they at least feeling at ease.

But, this self-reward also has a risk and deficiency. The more you care about people, your value about balancing selfless and selfisness could be imbalance. You starting to questioning, is it true you are happy doing this or just feel more burdened by it. Like I do feel now. I do still in the middle of reasoning why I made this writings. Is it for me or is it trying to tell a certain people?

Confused? Well, me too.

Don't think too much. I am just wasting your time.

Bye and happy reading!

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Those nights.

Source : Soul Movie by Pixar

Alright. It's 00:33 a.m

Welcome to the last night of worry-free holiday!

I think its a waste if I skipped writings on this holiday because I don't think I could committed to these after work were related.

Seriously... I just want to sleep. I don't even know what things I want to talk about. Like I said before, such a waste if I didn't write on this night.

Okay, the basic one. Let's play 5W+1H. 

How are my feelings?

In the safe mode. 

Second. 

Where were my mind goes to?

Hm. Like it always divided. But certain persons made it to top five list. 

Third.

Who you're listening these days?

Bunch of Indonesian's OKAY singer or any song from my "Skripsian Song" playlist on spotify. 

Fourth.

What things you most worried of?

Simplest and complicated one: FUTURE.

Fifth.

When the last time you cried?

A few hours ago. Also, I think I cried everyday. So?

Last. Sixth.

Why are you doing this?

What? Writing? Well... I think I hopelessly needed this. My head is so full of things I should let it out but words just doesn't seems want to cooperate.

Oh. I have one actually.

Friend of mine just going through grieving these past time. I'm in the middle of weighing what's right and wrong how to behaving. Because the truth is there's no right or wrong on this case. You're just kept floating, like those poor children who eaten by Pennywise (this is fiction - and it's cruel - pardon my metaphor)

Anyway... I mean, when you're alone, its imposibble to avoid the overwhelmed, all the energy was drained up. And when you around people, its a great distraction. That's why when I'm going through it, college is my happy place. My GPA was 4.00. Just wow! Proud! Love myself. Kiss. Xoxo.

Okay. Let's talk about future.

One clean house with cool breeze from its countless windows (its has a same vibe like Lawang Sewu but I hope it wasn't) not to green, not too brown or grey or white or colorful. Truthfully, I can't even imagining what dream house I want but I think I could work on that later. Very much okay with me alone in the house or if its not too much, I welcome bunch of company of cats, dogs, birds, or (human person - oh... for this: needed to rethink again).

Being one of storymaker of one or two or more animated features. Whatever. I just want my worked has a visible output. I seriously doubt this dreams. Please hear me, Ya Allah.

Ah... since I love school. Getting master is definitely on the list! But since I also love money, let's go work work work first.

Hey... the most important thing is: Healthiness. I prayed for me me me and you you you. Keep maintain it! Good luck. 

Done at 02:19 a.m

What a crap. Bye. Shit, The title!

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... Whoever Decided Time After Time As The Opening Song For Palm Springs Movie's Trailer.... I. THANK. YOU!

What an odd choice of words for blog's title post.

Something happened today. A bad thing. As always... keeping for myself. After all, it isn't a good story. I think I'll just passed.

When my mind full of shits... well, i mean, things. Like so many times I've said before: I'll just pouring it all in writings. Even though I'll admit things should gone ugly first before I decided to write again after a long time. 

But hey, look at me now. Everything gone all over the places and what I decided to get rid off unnecessary options in my mind to get out of this mess is....

Glorifiying Time After Time as Palm Spring's movie trailer's opening song~ I'm in love once again with that movie as I rewatched it two times this weekend.

So... where this randomness all came from? Basic, this was came from Sam Smith who covering Time After Time and of course, Live At Abbey Road Studios, what else we could ask for?

Is it a good distraction or I just runaway with it? Idk. God won't even tell me. Now I'm alone to figuring things out. It's okay tho, I don't want people to know what's my plan because it would be no, uh uh.

I'm just glad that today's problem lightened with me writing some words like this. I even too scared to imagining what if another problem in my life can't even solved by writing as coping mechanism.

These days I kept reminding myself of how I shouldn't be a normal person. But it is really good to be a normal person. I'm in between on believing every humans are the same OR all humans are different. Someone who throwing that two premises, had their point. I'm agree and disagree on both.

Then, with all of those doubtness I remember this movie quote:

"Being ambiguous doesn't make you profound. It makes you full of shit."-said a kid to a priest

When I thought about those quote, it's really like screaming in my mind with another paraphrase like: "Choose one of your damn choices, kid. End this sooner!"

And my conclusion on today's problem are: All this time I think I was on Hamilton's sides who always takes all the shots. Now, if I looking back, I actually on Burr's side.

Lol, what a lame closing.... 

But! Song Exploder about Wait For It reminds me that I have this another thing who could made me alive at least, it is how I loved watching music production. Just WOW. Lin-Manuel Miranda for lyfe!

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Jam 4-an, 4-ish.

 

Nulis karena lagi pengen atau nulis karena ada yang perlu ditulis gap perbedaannya menurut gue bisa besar sekali. Btw, trigger yang membuat mood menulis muncul hari ini adalah:

Gampang yah temanya. Dan sebenernya dari dulu-dulu tanpa categorize per day gitu tulisan ogut topiknya terkait itu-itu juga (?)

Eh tapi engga... ga mau challenge gituan juga sih hehehe. Tak perlu lah aku menambahkan kekonsistenan yang terpaksa.

Terlalu sering memberi penjelasan terhadap diri sendiri ke orang banyak akan membuahkan reputasi ini dan itu. Dan aku tak ingin ini itu. Kalo udah ini, ini aja. Padahal bukan sesuatu yang bisa di kontrol juga yekan?

Seminggu terakhir, gue lagi re-run Sherlock-nya BBC. Gegara one day before that gue mimpi lagi discuss sama Benedict Cumberbatch tentang kerjaan. Iya, itu apa banget, tapi aku adalah anak yang seringkali baper kalo mimpiin sesuatu jadilah gue nonton Sherlock entah untuk yang keberapa kalinya.

Setting Sherlock yg di London kalo pas banget siang-siang tengah hari dan terang benderang mengingatkan gue sama latar-nya Mr. Bean (yaa... betul, suka tiba-tiba saja memang pikiranku ini). Ada episode pas abis pulang dari gereja/pantai gitu gue lupa, ada rumah-rumah blok jarang-jarang tapi rapih hijau etc terus ada ban mobil terbang-terbangan gitu. Atau my favourite place to see yang lain adalah di episode Mr. Bean ngejar-ngejar bola golf, keukeuh gamau pegang hingga akhirnya sore-sore udah agak gelap twilight dia cetak score dan rasanya puas banget.

Gue emang jarang banget pergi kemana-mana, tapiiii kalo lagi suka sama cuaca hari itu pasti bakalan keingetan seumur idup.

Contohnya, masih siang-siang menuju sore, panas tapi mau redup-redup, gue dibonceng kakak gue naik sepeda dari ujung gang besar ke jalan raya sampe ujung lagi ke rumah. Dan karena jalanannya lurus, jadi keliatan ujung dan ujung tapi agak jauh, 200 meter sepertinya. Kita racing di situ, seperti layaknya bocah sok-sok an mau break free setelah menolak tuntutan tidur siang. Hem, bahagianya.

Ada lagi pas SMA, pulang sekolah jam 4-an padahal bel pulang jam 2, gue juga gatau kenapa betah banget di sekolah. Pas pulang hujan, ga gede-gede amat tapi yaudahlah pake jas ujan. Cibinong, sore-sore ujan ademnya bikin damai. Lewatin pemda, pohon-pohonnya netesin air kalo kena angin, aspalnya jadi glossy kena air, hati-hati jadi pelan-pelan sambil hirup-hirup debu yang keguyur air. Sampe rumah ada mama lagi nonton tv, di meja ada mie kuah yang ga diabisin. Berkah sekali hidupku.

Dan yang paling favorit sore-sore waktu di jemput Papa pulang les. Ga panas ga mendung, motoran lewat tapos yang sepi itu, sampe-sampe magrib. Oh baru inget, ke sentul, sama Papa juga, motoran, gerimis kecil-kecil kita nyasar di gunung, tanya tukang pisang lalu bingung sendiri karena ngomongnya pake bahasa sunda. Hm, what a memories.

Mau sore-sore ujan atau sore-sore panas tapi ga terik banget, kayaknya aku memang sore-sore person (?). Tapi kalo mau maksain kenapa gue suka sore-sore yang bukan menjelang magrib, mungkin karena gue lahir jam 16.00 hari sabtu ba'da ashar. So, that's the unreasonable reason why ogut suka sore kek anak indie pemuja matahari terbenam wkwkwkkwk.

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