I was playing would you rather in my head to holding back the doubtness of what I did through in this life these past couple months.
Should've done it like I'm usually do, get things done, taking my time, and move on. Maybe a little bit grumbling a long the way. But nowadays, the feeling of restless starting to taking over.
Uncertain possibilities piles up and I can't simply just get rid of that. I've always denying by thought "Well, everyone feels the same way."
Well, everyone is, but its not your business. You can't always put people in front of you and facing your feelings as leftovers.
I was in talk with my friends. They said, "It's much better you still kept out from all the unnecessary investment in relationships. The effort is just... bigger than you can think of."
The truth is, I don't even want to thinking a lot of it. They said, it is much better away from all that stuff-- but I think I could cover it up if anything happens. Things like that have to be both important and negligible at the same time.
I'm used being alone. Even when my mom and dad and sisters still around I have this likeness of being alone. Also this past years, I somehow grateful for all the time I spent it all alone. But I think its time that this loneliness gone, I had enough. I needed a company. But again, who are we? Getting things that we want.
"The fear of loss is stronger when one truly has something to lose, so when you jump in full hurts that much more" - I seriously quoting this from short story of Conneto UK advertisement.
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