Tree

나의 해방일지 드라마 - 미구

Since we've always hustling and not quite care that organizing feelings, minds, and body are actually have to be in the priority when reached this chapter, it's a reminder to look again inside all of the little things.

I didn't have any draft of my journaling these past 2 moths and... where it leads me? I think I've always circling every agenda without thinking it thorough, I have become what I learned as a shallow person.

During that time period without writing, I am a big mess of little hurdles, inconvenience, or even couldn't enjoyed joyfulness without overwhelmed with them.

Everything is constant tiredness. I lost control over all my energy. So, isn't it almost time for actual person who is carrying a lot of love to offer and show up in purpose to help me get back on my feet? Or it is still the time when I should do it all alone again organizing this things in life like i've always did?

How many hundred days until everythings gonna be change? Because I think I need those big change maybe... right now?

I swear I'll focusing on every God's sign and watching every movements given but then again it doesn't even matter if the time is not the time yet.

I was so sure that I was received so much love growing up. Because if it doesn't-- why now I want nothing but love? Or Maybe if I am not received love as many as I had that time, I wouldn't be this alone and feel nothing that everyone is leaving.

I was also almost sure that growing up, what I had eaten is always a good things. Because if it doesn't-- why now I am mostly craving for any kind of love? Or Maybe if I just eaten a bad taste/looking food, I wouldn't be this shitty picky eaters who always eat whatever I want and not what I needed.

As a metaphor, I will always gonna be the youngest all my life. The needy things and somehow is like a tree which only grow if it was poured by love, sun, and water.

Certain thing is, everyone will die anyway, but with love, I am positive that we could live longer and savings more and more good things for the next live which is forever over there.

Songs to listen to: Yerin Baek - The Loved One. 

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