You Will Know When You Are A Shitty Writer

Before begin to actually write, I was a reader. Well, I still a reader now of course. Aren’t we all?

The sentences I used to read should have one undeniable criteria: not cringey.

I’m always be picky reader when it comes to book or a reading, especially the fiction one. Funfact: I believe all the romance genre is fiction up until now. I’d rather be reading something that I don’t understand instead fulfill my eyes with a writings that has a purpose to make me pukey. Then… I was starstruck when I actually read my writings. It is definitely that pukey words I hated. When I decided to published it and idk why I’d do it, I loathed my own writings even more.

I wasn’t laughing at those, I don’t find it funny, I just angry and keep questioning why my brain produced something that I didn’t like, something that opposite my value.

Struggling to against the unwanted cringish and childish words, I think I have a result/ well if I don’t maybe I stopped writing. Those words I find meets my criteria start to aroused. I actually incapable to write a real words I like and it comes from me, nowhere but me.

I started to realize that my words will always be two sides. One is that I like and the other one that I hate. When I was in situation to hate my writings, I didn’t know that I am a shitty writer. But now, I am acclaimed myself as a shitty writer. Why? Because I have more words that I didn’t like than my words that I like.

Conclusion: when I have more words I like than I hate, do I still a shitty writer?

The answer is yes, unfortunately I still am. I had to think that way. Because when I started to think I am a good writer, it doesn’t bring any good and I know who I am and where my level right now. I have to consistently producing and learning and keep practicing my writings, I just have to.

I can say it is like a service to my brain and soul, besides I am having fun while doin’ it, even tho I got headache in the middle of it but I still haven’t find another thing that excites me yet more than had this urged to write. So yeah, peace for all shitty writer out there yo!