Money

 

My purpose to do this writing is for declining all the panic thoughts about my financial crisis right in this middle of the year. Also as a reminder that some things are packed for the next months and those consistency that I planned are not gonna be a fullfilled goal.

God, I messed up. I know where this all started wrong, and where it leads me? The right one at least are to controling things I could control, but first thing first, worrying actually helps to triggering that wake up call. When this financial crisis happening, of course any stressful things also showed up there and there.

I eat as usual, to survive and not getting sick (Thank God). Set aside to repurchase my daily multivitamin boost because no money flows to that priority of needs in this last month but at least vitamin C is guarded. The problem is my hormonal acne. It's been months and its like not getting better and just getting worsen for some time. I had been tried to find what caused this, in every way I could but still I have no idea what makes this worsen.

After tried this and that, I am still lost and getting frustated by this sensitive skin. For now, I chosen to surrender. Whatever happens to this skin, I'm gonna embrace it and helps to slowly finds the remedy. I know that the complex will sticks with me for awhole but there are some better days for those skins. Those better days was leads me to think that I am actually have a nice face, its bringing happiness to my ego.

Another TMI. Have been 2 years not getting my hair cut and I think it is the longest that i've ever had. It grows as it supposed to and I love them, yeah of course some days it's getting heavy and annoying. But some time they're also pleasant to my eyes and this kind of feeling "I am beautiful and confident" really helps my days.

Grateful that I still have a job, still hang in there like always. Nani is well and I still heard her scolded her grandkids as it's some habit that I felt reassuring and calming because she is still here. Weird.

Grateful for my 80% health and 20% body ache and still could be handled and managed by sleep and rest and self massage. Praying for all the people I've lost and those who are still here and continously being present.

Grateful for my weekend's day nap-- completed and perfected by rain today. Delicious dinner and dessert with a friend. Followed by accepted request by another friend. Talkings with my sister and see Lulu. And blessed by active brain towrite this writings.

Finally, last... to sums up, I just want to reminds myself that my money will not becomes be my longtime savings. Instead, everything will set enough by Him, I believes He will makes things less hard. Even if I am struggling, or you are, keep in mind that...

Actually I really am a beautiful, gorgeous, also slay person in a good day. LOL. Pleasant only in my eyes and it is enough.

#Ah... another reminder to sing Rumah Singgah by Fabio Asher if I go to karaoke. This tik tok songs is really really great.