Older (and Wiser)

 

Not meant to reviewing the deluxe album of Lizzy McAlpine which was out hours ago, but with the release of her album, the album title was the muse of the theme of this writings (hopefully it will be out in the blog) and bring such a related content with what happened today—and again… hopefully this writings could be done and be shared on my blog.

Almost 2-years being in the main business of company, doing exactly what kind of work which guarding the wheels keeps spinning, I have learned so much comparing than I was in the other first and second positions before me.

The stressed thing was over almost a year after doing the work, post those times, I must say, the 70% of pressure was off and going smoothly. I am grateful for this kind of condition happening right now.

Well, I almost certain that I did make many connections in this phase. Approached people who I did not know before, coordinated with them to get things done and negotiating to reach into the agreement even after back-to-back doing internal discussion. Well, the negotiate part which I am still trying peel one by one until it got succeeded after my own decisions, but anyway, because of that, my communications skills were accelerating rapidly.

Back to today… after having meeting outside the office which felt hassled because how Jakarta in the afternoon was so damp and hot (Actually I still did not liking the feelings before doing the meeting)… I came to realization that in this age of mine, I was still lack of knowledge and it shows when I got to talk with my team which including my boss and my consultant.

I wanted to defend myself with some excuses on how my brain's frontal lobe just fully formed (?) just 2 years ago—which a compatible time for being an elegant-mature-smart adult who could get things done without asking my boss everything—or some reasons of me being friends with only a very limited number of people.

Anyway, having conversations with group of people who already done much—especially business in his/her work-life brings a mesmerizing thoughts also insecure feeling when you cannot catch up with what they are saying or only listening both of them talking aliens.

I know I much younger than them, and I very much certain that I needed that kind of convo for having challenges to keep learning… but also it is kind of scary when they know almost everything. There is no doubt that they will say that I am predictable and have this certain gen-Z attitude. And for the first time in my life… I was called introvert which I did not believe because I always knew I was extrovert or maybe all of my personality just all over the place now? I feel like I almost choked up when I was categorized by something I didn't even think before.

But anyway, in a reasonable portion—it is not having conversations with people who are much older than you was all horrible. It’s still awkward and you are trying to receiving all the information but it is more than fine and what I liked about it so much that I get opportunity to know what they are fussing about and also observing which I am hunger for more.