Hi, I'm a baboon!

Hello. Just checking in. 

Actually, no. 

Thankfully I'm not in the middle of crisis, it is okay though, instead I just starting to feeling again. And that's makes me wanted to arise just on surface, if I check the note.

Just how much I hate the idea of positivity and stick to sarcasm to kept an undercover kindness, holding in boreness is an easy task now. Its really doesn't mean anything at all. I choose not to think about how much longer I can doin' this looping activity.

Instead, I am focusing on how anxious I am looking at news. It is not a happy place but it was something you could do to keep your mind alert. Worrying turns out made me feel more careful, now I know its not fully unnecessary. But it became a problem when it hits hard when I am in fragile situation. So, I manage to take control in a thing I could taken control of. 

I overthink not in a way that I would hate myself for doing it. I am thinking to exploring, so instead judging it was important or useless thinking, I just writing if I don't get sleepy or simply fall asleep in the middle of it. And that's why how I got variant of dreams lately. One time, I was awake and remember what I was dreamed of, and amaze on how my brain works to connected premises to a conclusion I never think of.

I also swears. In my mind or explicitly in a mumbling. Sometimes I need bad words to define a guilt of my past behaviour which only I am the one who can encountered. 

Watching a lot of tv-series, read a book, thinking again, and discussing it with myself. I really want to bring up a good talk from friends but I am not in the right place to think others besides my family and I. I don't wanna be in that phase anymore, a full of caring moments that doesn't have a meaning in the future because it didn't provide dependability.

Well... remember when I said I am starting to feeling again? So this is how sums it up:

Not along day before yesterday, as any other day, my brain came up with a realization that in this age, I think I already feels like...................... (I decided not talking about this yet, later maybe)

About this country. I am scared of what might affect all good citizens in this country because of broken government. Plus some well-known moron people who called themselves influencer which did influence people to be stupid like them. Their campaign on how to live a fullest life is such a bullshit. The marketing they are playing is works but come on, it's a trick to get more fame and also money for their own good. What a cheap creature.

I know how this world works, but God... I just hoping all unfortunate good people who lack of everything to support their life, sooner or later or the day after tomorrow will get the thing that makes them comfortable or simply as enough. May the health and love following them through. So the stories of unfortunate events will reducing with some loving and heartwarming stories. 

Also... noticing animals. Feel the fullest of their cuteness, well, some aren't, especially snakes but their had their parts to the community bigger than unused human like me. So, instead being cruel to them, I say just eat them. Kidding. Eat the proper animals that tends to be eat. If you don't want to, definitely okay, but just don't hate each other human for their choices. Like Uncle Rogers hates vegetarian. Live on peace, Uncle Rogers! 

Don't be weird and try to fight the nature because its impossible, buddy. Pay attention on everything we know to help the earth, climate change is in front, it is scary, so help as much as you can if it can buy more time we have in the earth. One hundred percent I will burried here, then I have a part to save my places. This take on you too, know how to act! 

Gosh this is just so much positivity, I think I should stop and continue on negative side like I always do. So. BYEEEE!

Pict: EARTH Music Video - Lil Dicky