Begin: 00.11 AM/ 18th August 2021
How come a girl with a mole on her lips should labelled as someone who talk to much leads to being annoying etc. Older people say so and they tends to be the one who believe in superstitions.
I was raised with that kind of mindset that I was talking too much. Even my parents agreed with the idea of me, as the youngest child, should be the one who's funny and happy all the time. Oh shit, is that why my name has a rhyme same as "funny"? Nope. I genuinely remember, dad's got name "Giovanny" from christian baby name book they got from hospital. TMI, I was born at St. Carolus Jakarta.
Anyway, carrying youngest child label whom always kind of hated by others older sibling because they thought we are annoyingly spoiled human being that always win (and we did!). I've always thought my parents love me the most and yeah that's so wrong in many way but at least I let them and felt much love from them in a real way. Thanks you two for unimaginable love!
So. Yeah. Talking too much.
I don't know who I am, really. How I felt about conversations with people? It's up and down. Could be amazing, alright, until meh...
If I looking back to my social skills on really basic grade until high school. I would say, I've never be an outsider. I've always belong to this kind of group filled with people who encouraging a friendship like a team. You know, because every team needs a funny smart fat friend so yeah, I've always belong somewhere.
But there's also the time when I got tired being so in arranged environment or maybe I want to be looked like a good person so I've always find it easy to approach a person who's more into observing and listening rather than full of energy and wanted to be heard. I've always connected with the most alone person in class and the funny thing is, I could actually enjoyed talking with them. Oh my god, the memory just pouring out, I could named them right now. But nah...
They are the real people who have a real story in their past or coming life ahead.
There's a girl who always bring a tablet to school and as any high schooler could be, I am continously borrowed it to play games, which, the game is Minnion Rush, that I still immensely played until this time. Also, that leads me to having no phone at my first year on my college, instead I get a tablet instead just to keep playing that game. Wow, goosebumps on my skin even I am writing this now.
Another thing I remember about her is, she is the master of cheating BUT she is also one of the brightest brain in class. She told me that even she is already know the answer, she would go through this math problem to just assuring her ego that she actually did it with her own ability. At the end of high school, she did all exam tests by her own and I'm glad she did. Because as I mentioned before she is truly a smart girl. I learned a lot from her.
There's also this boy in my junior high school, we were in same class and I used to be one of class administrator back then so yeah I know every kid financial state in those time. He always said "later" everytime I asked about weekly contribution money and I just casually moved to ask another kid without push him a little more to give the money right away.
So, I'm observing him, and asked where he lives because there's so many times we would pass by on the road when we're going home from school. He was walking while me driven by my sister. One day, I asked "Why we keep run to each other? Where do you live?" Lol, I asked like the road was mine. And he tell me long story about his dad's motocycle repair shop and his young brothers. And from those day, everytime we run to each other in the road. I would brightly shouting his name while waving my hand. My sister in other side saying why would I do that thing and called me "genit". Wtf, sist, that's my friend that I gladly saying goodbye with. Well, Majid, whenever you're at right now. I would gladly saying hello again...
I also know this truly talented person who writes. She is the master of writing fanfiction. Genre: thriller. She wearing this big glasses, I'm being serious and I am not kidding. I don't see why my generation seeing someone who is passionate about something is a weird person. My generation likes similarity as a cool things. This girl is eccentric, not weird. She loves history. She's a walked wikipedia. I learned all conspiracy theory from her. The last thing I heared about her is that she's in literature major. Perhaps she already publishes a book? Yeah I hope.
Glad that I've known and had long or short conversation with them. They aren't unfounded, they just have this deepness people don't wanna know.
In college, when your social skills is the most used for heading to this world, I am shutting all of that with no reason. I'm exhausted all the time and making friends is just a necessary agenda thing. Seriously, I'm talking to people just want one thing: information. They're just a bunch of either people trying to stand out or people who too scared to say anything because the others also didn't say anything and always in save zones while I am the one didn't give a f and just want to sleep in my dorm.
But among those people that I explained selfishly general, I met people who just right matched with myself. Surely six years communicate with bunch of people who wasn't too smart, having a boring life story, wasn't eccentric and definitely not one of them are outsider. They are good at social skills and talking even the most introvert one.
Some of them are my favourite conversationalist. Four hours literally talking on the phone with me is... idk, what are we even talking about? Or long haul long and deep conversation on messanger. You guys are the best. Thanks for that.
And lastly to my family. Nani, who this afternoon asked and telling me all gossip about Megawati and Prabowo while I searched their parents' names, or spouse and siblings on google just to completed her sentence.
There's also this boy in my junior high school, we were in same class and I used to be one of class administrator back then so yeah I know every kid financial state in those time. He always said "later" everytime I asked about weekly contribution money and I just casually moved to ask another kid without push him a little more to give the money right away.
So, I'm observing him, and asked where he lives because there's so many times we would pass by on the road when we're going home from school. He was walking while me driven by my sister. One day, I asked "Why we keep run to each other? Where do you live?" Lol, I asked like the road was mine. And he tell me long story about his dad's motocycle repair shop and his young brothers. And from those day, everytime we run to each other in the road. I would brightly shouting his name while waving my hand. My sister in other side saying why would I do that thing and called me "genit". Wtf, sist, that's my friend that I gladly saying goodbye with. Well, Majid, whenever you're at right now. I would gladly saying hello again...
I also know this truly talented person who writes. She is the master of writing fanfiction. Genre: thriller. She wearing this big glasses, I'm being serious and I am not kidding. I don't see why my generation seeing someone who is passionate about something is a weird person. My generation likes similarity as a cool things. This girl is eccentric, not weird. She loves history. She's a walked wikipedia. I learned all conspiracy theory from her. The last thing I heared about her is that she's in literature major. Perhaps she already publishes a book? Yeah I hope.
Glad that I've known and had long or short conversation with them. They aren't unfounded, they just have this deepness people don't wanna know.
In college, when your social skills is the most used for heading to this world, I am shutting all of that with no reason. I'm exhausted all the time and making friends is just a necessary agenda thing. Seriously, I'm talking to people just want one thing: information. They're just a bunch of either people trying to stand out or people who too scared to say anything because the others also didn't say anything and always in save zones while I am the one didn't give a f and just want to sleep in my dorm.
But among those people that I explained selfishly general, I met people who just right matched with myself. Surely six years communicate with bunch of people who wasn't too smart, having a boring life story, wasn't eccentric and definitely not one of them are outsider. They are good at social skills and talking even the most introvert one.
Some of them are my favourite conversationalist. Four hours literally talking on the phone with me is... idk, what are we even talking about? Or long haul long and deep conversation on messanger. You guys are the best. Thanks for that.
And lastly to my family. Nani, who this afternoon asked and telling me all gossip about Megawati and Prabowo while I searched their parents' names, or spouse and siblings on google just to completed her sentence.
Also My sister whom tonight explaining how great South Korea's health systems is and bring up and mocking my worse and embarrasing moment when I was children with all our recall memories of our parents.
I am grateful. I am.
Now looking back, I am still that girl with a mole on her lips no matter how the idea of that truth is followed with how much I talked or simply I didn't said because I am keeping the silence. Because I've looked at life from both sides now.
Good night. Or morning? Shit.
End: 02.27 AM/ 18th August 2021
No edit. Just published. Good Lord, Giovannyyyy.....
I am grateful. I am.
Now looking back, I am still that girl with a mole on her lips no matter how the idea of that truth is followed with how much I talked or simply I didn't said because I am keeping the silence. Because I've looked at life from both sides now.
Good night. Or morning? Shit.
End: 02.27 AM/ 18th August 2021
No edit. Just published. Good Lord, Giovannyyyy.....
