I am not done with my old houses

 

Picture by Artist name Bonnie Branson from Twitter BoOoOnnie the PAINter

All of my life, I have lived in four different houses.

Too many? Well, you tell me.

My mama and papa basically lived in Jakarta when they first met. After got married, they were still in the area, close to their relatives or so they thought.

Life itself takes it’s way to dynamic changes. All of sudden, my dad who worked at this construction company just for a few years get rewarded some capital money to build an individual house.

He's not really has good instinct when it comes to something important, like… choosing where potential places to start investing money on property. After collide with his old friend in this suburb area where his old friend also lived, he finally secure a spot.

This spot actualy has a funny plot twist. The area that was choosen by my papa now expanded to become a freeway or now it's called TOL JAGORAWI. So now my first house has more closeness with freeway than when it was first build. At least it is still there though.

I was born there. My first house... made from the strongest material as they usually used it for to build a huge building. It is strong but not in a quite right place.

I remember, not so long ago my sister realized and told me that our first home is what they called “Rumah Tusuk Sate”. The characteristics of “Rumah Tusuk Sate” is the house has a position at the end of the road, and making T-junction. And come think of it, my house is. That is why I am surely heard that my sisters frequently saw things—mostly another creature. Me, as a child also has a blurr projection about how strange things happened in our first home. One that always stuck in my head is lady with a long tongue and wide open eyes tried to scared me when I am taking bath. Shit, she’s picturing herself in my mind again right now. So yeah, that’s the thing.

My family was a newcomer, but we manage well. We become a part of community and also my first social encounter of neighborhood. We also actively participate on every event they've made like it supposed to.

The best thing we’ve done might be making friends for the first time then called them as childhood friends. Mine was awesome. Together, we danced and sang at a stage when celebrating independence day, cycling to the area that forbidden by our parents because the edge of freeway area is just desolated place where all the criminals or sane people exist. We also played at paddy field, stealing some cassava, or when we had money, we would eating ‘bakso’ plus a flavourish drinks which has a bad after effect in my throat.

Another thing to be grateful for is our elementary school just right at the front of our alley. So it's like we're free to go home in break time which I rarely do it because instead eat at home, buying snacks at school are my only chance to not caught up eating all those delicious slash unhealthy food that abang-abang made.

Enjoying a little bit too much my time in primary school without knowing my time left in those neighborhood is just one and a half year. Then somehow I manage to graduate primary school as the highest mark on national exam- my school ever record. Funny it is when I  am not even get high rangkings at every grade in school. I don't know why, but that situation made my parents didn't worried a bit which Junior High School to admitted because I can go anywhere I like. So, I decided to go in my sister old school which a little bit far from my home.

The little bit distance were solved by my papa who’s willingly took me every morning to school. Well, he did that to my sister before, so it wasn’t a problem. I got lucky. Then I'll go home walking about four kilometers before taking "angkot" with my friends because my junior high is in the middle of complex residences.

This is the begining for some huge changes. A year after adapting with walking a lot and having a public transport's experience, my parents decided to sell our first house to some family that still wants to live in the area after they got evicted. So, even it is hard to leave, I was persuaded by my parents that this moving thing could be a step up in our family lives.

My parents also started to questioning things which in my first house just had this stuck culture and the people we're not really improving. Everything is just the same because it is suburban area. They didn’t want us to just in there, not going into places. I also think the same. My first home isn't feel comfortable anymore, we were robbed countless times and the people just stays there, they're never leave, so we are going.

My eighth grade was so tiring. It is far commuter to school and my second home. I am blaming it on my parents because that time, everything was more far and unreachable because my papa, who not have a such good instinct like I’ve said before, chose more suburban area than our first home before. Which is an area called Cibinong. Shit.

The reason to starting over was a little bit too much because we were busy doing activity outside house. My mom and dad worked, my sister go to college and I am already tired of school. So, we just knew front, back right left neighbor. Actually, we have a perfect neighbor named Bu Jamila. She always cleaning her house all day, the floor has it’s signature good smell of carbol. She also giving us a lot of food. Well, we’re fine and tried to move along as a family in our second house.

Two years of my junior high, I was in a club consists of students who lived far away. Really, I through a hell in my commuter, especially in the morning. But it's also my happiest moment.

BECAUSE

As soon as we moved and started to settled, my parents prepared my sister and I with some kind of know how to dealing with real world. In my first house, I didn’t need to travel in great distance, but now everything changed, I am prepared to be a… ninja (?)

Well, no, actually it’s the know how to stay alert on public transportation, managing our allowance money, and stay strong when our family finance are not so good.

But also, looking at how far my school is, sometimes my sister or my dad taking turn to pick up me in junior high school when they had time. And of course those pick up time is my happiest moment. Especially with my papa, because my sister would start making this annoying face when it her turns.

My papa usually pick me up in 4 pm, after I was done with my private lesson to preparing for national exam.

As I say, it was 4 pm. The sun is about to set but it still had this strong warm light to give us lower temperature than in the middle of the daylight. It is not hot neither is cloudy.

He will sit there, in his motorbike. Wearing long john and a polo shirt-- no jacket even it was a long way home-- which make him soo handsome and more approachable with his wild beard and moustache. So, I sat behind his back with a little sweat in it because of the sun I think. Immediately he would asked me which street I wanna took, even he is the one who driving.

Then I start to picturing a places in my head, it goes with my mood, thinking about street I’m dying to know where it leads or what color which glimpsed in the speed of motorbike that driven by my papa or what smell I’m gonna spend the breeze in.

So, I’ve always know what to decide and he always follow through without complained. Sometimes we took a new road that he saw and just go for it. He is a risk taker, otherwise that attitude made him an accepting person, almost on my opinion especially, so I also just let him to tried every road's option.

That moment is just priceless because when doing it, I was happy and when remember it, I am grateful. Even so many times my back and my ass ended up numb because sitting in motorbike too long, or foolishly didn’t realized end up with rounding around the same road. In those journey, we would talk endlessly, about almost everything, stopping just right after we were arrived at my second home.

After graduated junior high, I didn't really had an ambition to go in some favourite High School in Depok. I am done with Depok because it's just so far away. So I am looking for a school in Bogor, which also far but still reachable and still in Jawa Barat so I don't have to preparing difficult paperwork.

I am found the one. I've always got luck in academic places. It is one of International School but provided with government. So let's say its good school which before I didn't want to be a part of. But I got in because it’s just my only option and the distance are good. SMAN 2 Cibinong or SMAVO. What a good fancy name. I don't know why I get there but as I say, with academic purposes, I've always got lucky.

I am taking my own vehicle to school, which is super efficient. At the end of second semester in 10th grade, we moved to a better house and it is in complex-- just a few hundred metters from my second home, so that's how I through High School in my Third House.

The third house was a witness when a happiness and a sadness happening in our family. Our five years is written at that house in every high and low moment. I'll skipped the sad ones.

The happy one which I spent two and a half days after sleeping in the dorm for a week and finally get to sleep in my own room, looking at the rain and haze on the windows while writing journal and listening a good song. At the kitchen, my mom was making something I like and in living room my dad would busy replying messages from his reading glasses that also my mom's, they sharing it and I don't know why.

Then the second year of college which is the fourth semester I have to moved again to my Nani's (Grandma) house, that's becoming my fourth house and I am sure I’m not losing count.

Living in Nani’s wasn’t a good start. Again, I'll skipped all the bad moments.

I am now living in my house number four. I manage to graduated college while living in this house. I don’t know will I gonna moving again or maybe just living here the rest of my life because I had this job to protect the one I still had.

Somehow all the story behind my houses are classified with my academic timeline and I think it was easier.

I realized my story are more and more lacked of details as in I moved to another house and another. But that's the way you evolving even after through a lot.

Which house I prefer called Home? All of them, I think, but I’m not sure one hundred percent.

Nowadays, I enjoying looking at houses, some villa near Italy surrounded by a lake. Put one in my mind it’s just a normal sight-seeing, and I’d hate to wished for imposibble things.

I loved doing anything in my room. I never underestimated spaces I able to provide for myself right now. But I want to see not just one ot two things, I want hundreds or thousands because everything is a little bit too much—Our nature body wouldn’t allowed it.

So the question I’m repeating in my head when overly lack of motivation are:

Will I manage to live alone and called it’s a home instead a house?

Will I just stuck here at the rest of my life?

And why I don’t have the answers?